Friday, August 14, 2009

Contest Cheats, New Rules

The following is an editorial from Cousin QRM. It does not necessarily represents the views of the Lost Island DX Society, the Fi-Ni Report, NASCAR, or the AP Stylebook.

Recently the Fi-Ni Report MFWIC complained I haven't been pulling my weight around here. (For those who aren't familiar with the term, MFWIC, pronounced 'miff-wick', it’s a pseudo-military acronym for Mo-Fo What In Charge). As anybody who has seen the Cousin knows, it's quite a job to move my weight around, much less pull it. But I have been slack sharing my wisdom with all the Big Guns and Big Gun Wannabees that look to the Fi-Ni Report for all the news that ain't.

The big news in the world of contesting is that some stations cheat. Oh really? Color me surprised. No, the Big News is that some stations got caught AND punished for cheating. That is news.

I'm not one who believes that cheating among contesters is pervasive, but as the late great Dale Earnhardt was once quoted as saying, "If you ain't cheatin' you ain't trying." Frankly, I never was a Earnhardt fan. My hero growing up was Bobby Allison. Bobby never raced dirty and the only time he did anything on the track remotely unsportsmanlike was when he stopped his car and went over and punched out Cal Yarborough through the window of his car. Cal deserved it though for intentionally wrecking Bobby's brother Donny. But back to contesting.

Even before ole' cuz was a snot nosed Novice, there have been California Kilowatts and Italian "300 watt" amplifiers. Rubber clocking was easier in the days of handwritten logs with pencils. With the rise of packet clusters, self-spotting became the new way to drum up pileups. All are just wrong. For whatever reasons, contest sponsors seem to have been hesitant to DQ entrants, more so in recent years than long ago. I'll not speculate why.

But Cousin QRM is happy to stand up and cheer a loud "Well done!" to the CQWW contest committee for their recent actions. The rumor mill has it that more DQs are expected for the CQWW CW contest results due out any day now. Boy, that's gonna stir the hornet's nest up. The contest reflector will so busy discussing the CQWW, we probably won't get around to discussing cut numbers or Sweepstakes checks until mid-October at the earliest.

If I was a devious minded person, I would think this whole DQ business was publicity stunt by the CQWW folks. Think about it. The contest and DX world is all abuzz. Everyone is anticipating the 2009 contests to see who gets disqualified this year and what extraordinary lengths the Big Guns will go to avoid getting DQ'd. This is brilliant. No sunspots to create band conditions, generate interest and controversy by DQ'ing a few blatant offenders. Find a couple of belligerent competitors to complain loudly about their DQ and it will be a show worthy of WWF. Maybe Macho Cuesew can help out?

The CQWW contest committee has added a new rule for 2009 requiring competitors to allow "a scheduled visitation by a representative of the CQ WW CC during the contest ". Oh the howls from the peanut gallery. Some seem to think it is somehow offensive, an insult that someone wants to check up on them. Cousin thinks they doth protest too much.

Actually, Cousin QRM would welcome a visit by a CQWW contest committee representative during the contest. In fact, I encourage it. Please, please, please come check up on me.

I got nothing to hide. Plus, the way ole' Cousin views it, the CQWW committee isn't going to waste it's time on the little squirt pistols in the contest. They're only going to bother visiting the Big Guns. So you see, getting a visit from the CQWW committee is like a Big Gun stamp of approval, almost as impressive as being a member of the Lost Island DX Society. In fact, I'll go so far as to argue that you ain't really a Big Gun if you haven't been visited by the CQWW committee. Puts things in a different light, doesn't it? Once the big boys get their panties untwisted, they will see the light and be begging for a visit from the CQWW committee, just like Cousin.

Now, if you have been cheating, well, you'll get what you deserve. But, if like 99.5% of the contesters, you run up a big score using legal hardware, hard earned skills and old fashioned butt-in-the-chair time, you have nothing to worry about. Once word gets around that the CQWW committee visited you, and you got a clean bill of health, everybody will know that you're a serious competitor, and a good guy to boot.

So please, Mr. CQWW inspector, come visit old Cousin this fall. We need something to brag about.

73, Cousin QRM

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