Are your sunspots faded and weak? Is your flux flagging? Then you need Dr. DX's Old Dotty Disk Sunspot Salve!
Applied topically, Dr. DX's Sunspot Salve will help revitalize your slow and weak cycle and give you strong, frequent sunspots . Dr. DX's Sunspot Salve stimulates the development of new sunspots and encourages new cycles by increasing magnetic activity and inhibiting convection. With Dr. DX's Old Dotty Disk Sunspot Salve you can again experience the frequent, vigorous sunspot activity of your youth.
Occasional declines in sunspot activity are normal and natural. However prolonged periods of sunspot inactivity may be caused by stress or more serious factors. While Dr. DX's Sunspot Salve cannot correct fundamental causes of sunspot dysfunction, it can stimulate the creation of new sunspots and shorten periods of inactivity.
Warning. If you experience sunspots lasting for more than 28 days, consult … someone. May cause coronal mass ejections and increased solar flares.
What's next? Beam Balm? CountyHunters Lotion? Will Fi-Ni start featuring cryptic classified display ads like HAM NEARLY ITCHES TO DEATH and DRILL FOR DUMMY LOAD OIL IN YOUR OWN BACK YARD, PLANS $1.00 WITH SASE? It's beginning to feel like a cross between the Old Antenna Farmer's Almanac and the downmarket zones of 1958 Popular Mechanics. And who is this Dr. DX anyway? Some kinda Hameopath? Did he get his sheepskin from Radio Shack? Is he Breadboard Certified or just Certifiable? Slippery slope, BGD, slippery slope.
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