Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Shack Security for Big Guns

Last weekend, Mach Cuesew went to his Secret RF Lair to continue preparations for dominating the Xtreme Contesting category in the upcoming CQWW CW contest. Upon arriving, Macho noticed things in the shack looked disturbed. He immediately called his fellow Xtreme contester, Leche Dinero to inquire if he had been by the Secret RF Lair. Leche denied coming anywhere near the Secret RF Lair, as he had been busy in the ring practicing his Flying Leap off of the top rope move all week.

Macho said no equipment had been stolen or damaged, but it appears a spate of spurious cluster spots had been made from his computer over the last week. Even more confusing, it appears that some of the spots were actually legitimate, leading credence to either the blind-squirrel theory or the 1000-monkeys-in-a-room-with-a-1000-typewriters theory. Since the Secret RF Lair has only two keyboards, we favor the former theory. Either way, the security of the Secret RF Lair had been breached. Considering that the security consisted of a rusty latch with padlock that closed but didn't lock, this was not a tremendous surprise.

Macho Cuesew decided it was time to implement serious security to protect the shack of the future Xtreme Contesting Champion. Macho called up Dr. DX's Lab of Mad Sciencery for help. The good doctor was not in, but his able assistant Algor was happy to help out. Algor brought over Dr. DX's highest tech electronic lock and installed it on the door leading to the Secret RF Lair. The new lock is voice activated. There is a microphone mounted beside the door that looks a lot like the head of a D-104. To gain access, you step up to the microphone and shout "59-59-59" quickly. However, it's not that simple. The electronics are tuned to recognize only true Big Gun operators (like Macho and Leche) so the access code will really sound more like "FiNiFiNiFiNi". If you've never run a pileup in a big DX contest, you'll never be able to duplicate the sound. After installing the new lock, Algor pointed out that the lock operates off of wind power from the person yelling into the microphone, thus making the new lock very green friendly. This, of course, ignores the carbon dioxide exhaled and halitosis of the speaker.

With the Secret RF Lair newly secured, Macho Cuesew is continuing preparations for his first official championship in Xtreme Contesting. Dr. DX's FiNi Lock will be available to other Big Guns after the first of the year. In addition to securing a Big Gun shack from vandals and thieves, the FiNi Lock is also useful from keeping pesky CQWW Inspectors out during contests.

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