Thursday, March 24, 2011

Cheaters Rejoice – Your Day is Near

The recent mast up the posterior for some of the contestcenti over on CQ-Contest is cheating in contests. Or more specifically, how to prevent and detect suspected cheating in contests. To date, the Russian DX Contest is setting new standards in either cheating prevention and detection or paranoia, depending on one’s viewpoint. To date, only the CQWW Contest Committee (CCC -hmmm, seems to be an old acronym) has had the cojones to start disqualifying serious competitors and naming names, or calls at least. If you are an avid reader of CQ-Contest (which should probably qualify for some sort of entry in the DSM), then you might suspect there’s a cheating contester under every other bed. I think the last time we heard such prognostications it came from a fellow going by the name of McCarthy, and he didn’t have an EI call.

Of course every contestcenti worth his monobanders proclaims their innocence. Everyone they know operates above board and clean as a whistle. It seems everyone knows who the cheaters are, but no one actually admits to knowing one.

Well, the day is fast approaching when contest cheaters can throw caution to the wind and fully and openly participate in a contest that not only celebrates but encourages cheating in the most extreme manner. I speak of the Poisson d’Avril Contest, held annually on April 1 since 1896. Yes, this contest pre-dates radio itself.

By its very nature and lack of meaningful rules or organization, the Poisson d’Avril Contest demands stretching the limits of propriety and common sense and, perhaps, the laws of several states. In the spirit of the contest, for 2011, contest logs are due within 48 hours BEFORE the contest begins. Work quickly, as time is shorter than you think!

The prima donna, kingpin, and perennial winner of the Poisson d’Avril Contest, K1DG, is claiming to relinquish his top spot this year. However, it will cost you to replace him. Literally.

The winner of the 2011 Poisson d’Avril Contest will have to buy the win. Not with sweat, hardware, BIC time, and good propagation, but with cold hard cash. That’s right – cheaters of the world rejoice! There is no need to waste 24 or 48 hours of battling the bands and other cheaters to eek out a Top Ten finish. You can BUY a FIRST PLACE FINISH from the comfort of your Lazy-Boy. This contest is not about a boy and his radio, but a boy and his wallet. It's not who has the biggest tower, but the deepest checkbook.

Lest you think K1DG has finally revealed his true nature, sadly no. The proceeds from the Poisson d’Avril Contest will go to support WRTC2014, an event we’ll never be invited to, so this is as close as we can get to participating.


  1. Thanks for this. I happened upon it by accident, it was a most welcome grin.

  2. After fake signal reports it was a slippery slope. At risk of rousting some Roid Rage, we'll hazard a guess that more than a few Big Guns are cuttin their powder with Extra Extra Strength Creatine if ya catch our drift. Then again, isn't society at large to blame? All the glorification of sex and violence and ham radio contesting has finally caught up with us. By today's hyper macho standards, to NOT cheat at ham radio contests is akin to simultaneously wearing a pink tutu, carrying a lavender purse and drinking a Grasshopper while mincing around 20 meter CW.

  3. Dude - you need to find something besides this to get you out of your bathrobe in the morning...