Thursday, March 10, 2011

Reports of My Death Have Been Greatly Exaggerated

This note showed up in the LIDS inbox from Xtreme contester Macho Cuesew.

Hola Amigos! With the recent report in the news about an unidentified dead man found on a 1000 foot tower wearing only a tee-shirt and underwear, I have heard rumors being circulated that it was myself, Macho Cuesew. Have no fear, friends. Macho is alive and doing well!

Anyone who knows Macho would realize that the poor unfortunate dead man could not have been Macho Cuesew. Macho would never have been climbing dressed so improperly. When Macho climbs a tower, he wears his mask, a pair of gloves, and some steel shanked boots. That’s it. Macho truly believes in “free climbing”! There is no greater pleasure than being over 100’ up on a tower and feeling the wind blow through your, how you say, No, Macho Cuesew is much too macho to go out in a fetal position on a tower.

Some have wondered where I have been for so long. I have been consulting with a wealthy client I am not at liberty to name. This client, who is very famous as well as wealthy, has sought out the talents of Macho Cuesew to teach him all about Winning! As the most famous and successful Xtreme Contester, I am uniquely qualified to teach others about Winning! For the record, Macho Cuesew has been drinking Tiger Blood long before anyone else.

I will soon be back to training and competing on the world contesting stage. So, friends, rejoice, I am healthy and happy and will soon return to the air to dominate. To my competitors, resume quaking in your boots as you await my return.

73, Macho Cuesew


  1. Macho,

    So glad hear you no dead. Have wait long long time for monies owed Leche Dinero when Leche pay high bail charge get Macho from jail cell from last tower climb. Macho skip, Lecho no get bail monies back. Now police want Leche find Macho.

    Xtreme Kontest one thing, owe Leche much bail money another thing. Macho need pay Leche before next Xtreme Kontest.

    73 glad Macho OK de Leche Dinero

  2. PS.

    Please wear pants for next Xtreme Kontest! Macho make skid mark on chair.


  3. PPS

    Was HAIRY skid mark


  4. "rumors being circulated that it was myself"

    "It was me," gd it. Google "transitive case."

  5. Mi amigo Leche! So good to see your English improving. Macho is very sorry to run out on Leche and leave him with high bail charges, but I had this thing, you know. I promise, as soon as I get back from the tour, I make things right with Leche. In mean time, prepare for next Xtreme Contest operation - WPX. Favorite rules - Everybody work Macho, Macho work everybody.

    Mr. Grammar, thank you for lesson in 'transitive case'. I guess you got lots of time to study grammar while waiting in pileup. Don't worry, keep calling, you'll get through one day. Macho too busy running them.

    - Macho Cuesew