Wednesday, December 29, 2010

The Legal Front of Radio Contesting

The law firm of Howe, Dewey, Cheatham, and Wynn has announced the addition of Reginald Milquetoast, Esq. to the firm. Reginald will be specializing in rules interpretation of Skimmer and Skimmer-like technology to Single Operator contest categories. This currently hotly debated topic among the contestcenti is ripe for litigation, says Milquetoast.

When asked what contribution he could make to the topic, Milquetoast responded, “In a word - Latin. Throughout the countless thousands of words already written on the subject of Skimmer technology usage in Single Operator contest categories, not once has there been one word of Latin legalese used to defend or justify an opinion or position. Only Latin, preferably from a bonafied lawyer, can bring the appropriate gravitas needed to confuse and stupefy one’s opponents and establish the superiority of one’s position.”

In related news, the firm of Howard, Fine, and Howard, Esq. has announced they will be specializing in contest rules revision with emphasis on new technology integration. While unconfirmed, it is rumored that Howard, Fine, and Howard were involved in the recent National Contest Journal (NCJ) sponsored North American QSO Party (NAQP) CW contest rule revision allowing Single Operators to utilize Skimmer in the contest for the first time in 2011. When asked about the controversy that resulted from the rule revision announcement, Jerome “Curly” Howard, the junior partner responded, “I’m a victim of soicumstance! “

Monday, December 6, 2010

Perils of Modern DX-peditioning

In the golden days of yore (defined as roughly 1946 to 1970), the Golden Gods of DXing risked life and limb to venture to the obscure corners of the inhabited and uninhabited world to activate that rare DX locale. In those days, the journey might have entailed dangerous boat trips, overland treks, or risky flights on planes that saw service in the first World War. None of these could be arranged on Travelocity.

While there still exists DX entities that require similar efforts to reach, the majority of the DX world can be reached by commercial means with regular service. (Although in some parts of the world the accepted definition of ‘regular service’ may be disputed) Hence, only a credit card with sufficient limit is required to become DX.

Cousin QRM recently scrapped together enough quarters from between the couch cushions to fly off to a locale outside the jurisdiction of the FCC, hence it qualified as a DXpedtion even if its position is in the 300’s on the Most Wanted List.

Air travel is a major component of most any modern trip. This means having to walk the gauntlet of the TSA (Traveler Sexual Assault). The TSA’s most recent tool for keeping the free world safe is a new imaging scanner. Critics claim the scanner is a little too revealing. But Cousin QRM had no such worries. When it came his turn to enter the scanner, Cousin QRM did so in the knowledge that the scanner operator had the shorter end of the bargain. However, Cousin began to have second thoughts on the matter when, upon exiting the scanner, the TSA officer quietly suggested that he see a doctor about ‘those polyps’ when he returned from his trip.

After a glorious long weekend of being DX and enjoying being on the other side of the pileup for a change, it was time to return back to Lost Island and home. After the previous encounter with the new-fangled scanner, Cousin decided it would be more prudent to opt for the conventional pat-down search.

After requesting the pat-down search, Cousing QRM was directed to a small, discrete booth out of public view. A short time later a uniformed man entered and asked Cousin to turn and face the wall with his hands in the air. Cousin complied and was subjected to a rather thorough pat-down. While Cousin was a bit uncomfortable with the search, he didn’t think it too unusual until the uniformed man slipped a dollar bill into his belt and left quickly. As Cousin was gathering his belongings and preparing to leave, a uniformed and badged officer entered and announced he was there to conduct Cousin’s pat-down search.

While the pleasures of being on the right side a pileup are immense, Cousin QRM has decided that he shall remain at home and be plain non-DX for the foreseeable future.