The A-R-Double-L

Amateur radio is an activity governed by rules and regulations more than almost any other non-commercial activity. Firstly, amateurs are bound by the rules for amateur radio operation established by their governments regarding frequency, power and other limits of their operation. Those who pursue the art of DXing are bound by the rules of the various DX programs in which they participate. Contesters are bound by the rules of the contests in which they operate.

Where ever there are rules, there are inevitably rule breakers, intentional or not. Some are blatant, others, not so much. For every rule there is an interpretation of what the rule actually means. In the case of award programs and contests in particular, there is even room to argue that rules are wrong.

Opinions on these matters, like certain body parts, are universally widespread among the populace. This has lead to a sub-genre of activity in the amateur radio world defending or attacking various rules and interpretations. To date, this activity has been haphazard and un-organized. Amateurs, however, love clubs and organizations. Except for those who hate clubs and organizations - another argument for another day. But for those who feel a need for organization and recognition, we are proud to announce the founding of the Armchair Radio Lawyers League (A-R-Double-L).

The A-R-Double-L is predicated on the assumption that everyone has watched enough episodes of Law and Order to be a self-educated lawyer and can apply that astute thinking to interpreting the rules of the DXCC program or the 10-minute rule for CQWW and can argue their opinion persuasively without resorting to childhood epithets involving bodily parts. Hence, it is not expected to attract a large crowd of 75m ragchewers.

A new list-serv dedicated to A-R-Double-L arguments will be created. As needed, special list-servs may be created for individual topics such as “Should Scarborough Reef be considered ‘land’?” and “What actually constitutes ‘assistance’ during a contest?”. The hope is that these will remove some of the dreck from CQ-Contest*.

The Armchair Radio Lawyer League will be administered by the law firm of Howe, Dewey, Cheatham and Wynn.

* The Armchair Radio Lawyer League has no affiliation with the CQ-Contest website, the CQ-Contest list-serv or Major League Baseball.

Perils of Modern DX-peditioning

In the golden days of yore (defined as roughly 1946 to 1970), the Golden Gods of DXing risked life and limb to venture to the obscure corners of the inhabited and uninhabited world to activate that rare DX locale. In those days, the journey might have entailed dangerous boat trips, overland treks, or risky flights on planes that saw service in the first World War. None of these could be arranged on Travelocity.

While there still exists DX entities that require similar efforts to reach, the majority of the DX world can be reached by commercial means with regular service. (Although in some parts of the world the accepted definition of ‘regular service’ may be disputed) Hence, only a credit card with sufficient limit is required to become DX.

Cousin QRM recently scrapped together enough quarters from between the couch cushions to fly off to a locale outside the jurisdiction of the FCC, hence it qualified as a DXpedtion even if its position is in the 300’s on the Most Wanted List.

Air travel is a major component of most any modern trip. This means having to walk the gauntlet of the TSA (Traveler Sexual Assault). The TSA’s most recent tool for keeping the free world safe is a new imaging scanner. Critics claim the scanner is a little too revealing. But Cousin QRM had no such worries. When it came his turn to enter the scanner, Cousin QRM did so in the knowledge that the scanner operator had the shorter end of the bargain. However, Cousin began to have second thoughts on the matter when, upon exiting the scanner, the TSA officer quietly suggested that he see a doctor about ‘those polyps’ when he returned from his trip.

After a glorious long weekend of being DX and enjoying being on the other side of the pileup for a change, it was time to return back to Lost Island and home. After the previous encounter with the new-fangled scanner, Cousin decided it would be more prudent to opt for the conventional pat-down search.

After requesting the pat-down search, Cousing QRM was directed to a small, discrete booth out of public view. A short time later a uniformed man entered and asked Cousin to turn and face the wall with his hands in the air. Cousin complied and was subjected to a rather thorough pat-down. While Cousin was a bit uncomfortable with the search, he didn’t think it too unusual until the uniformed man slipped a dollar bill into his belt and left quickly. As Cousin was gathering his belongings and preparing to leave, a uniformed and badged officer entered and announced he was there to conduct Cousin’s pat-down search.

While the pleasures of being on the right side a pileup are immense, Cousin QRM has decided that he shall remain at home and be plain non-DX for the foreseeable future.

Alien QSL Bureau Announced

Headlines raved this week, perhaps erroneously, that the United Nations was preparing to name an official ambassador to represent earth in preparation of alien contact. While some have guffawed at the idea of an ambassador to aliens, the idea is not without merit. If an alien ship parked itself in orbit around earth and sent out a "Take me to your leader" message, who would we point them toward? While I'm sure there is no shortage of political potentates who would self-nominate themselves for the position, the scramble for supremacy would look like, well, a typical UN meeting . Appointing a nominal talking head to be the face of earth would hide what a bunch of squabbling children we really are for probably at least an hour to two.

Nevertheless, we applaud the UN for being so far thinking, even if they weren't. The collected members of the Lost Island DX Society have never been accused of being deep thinkers, but we know how to ride the coattails of a good idea when we see one. So the LIDS are announcing the establishment of the first Extraterrestrial QSL Bureau to assist The Deserving in getting confirmations for (future) extraterrestrial QSOs. With the price of domestic and international postage going up every year it seems, one can only imagine the postal service's rates for Alpha Centauri. An SASE might bankrupt an individual.

The LIDS Extraterrestrial QSL Bureau will assist in bundling terrestrial QSLs and transporting them to their destination via rocket ship or whatever means is most cost effective. It will likewise receive, sort and distribute incoming QSLs from extraterrestrial locales, making it cost effective for our extraterrestrial ham radio friends to confirm all those W4 cards.

Don't send any envelopes to the LIDS Extraterrestrial QSL Bureau just yet. Details of the bureau operation will be forthcoming after initial Contact.

A Green New One

In the north Pacific, ocean currents spin in an invisible giant whirlpool, bumping up against the land masses east and west, while flirting with the chilly arctic waters to the north, and the warm equatorial waters to the south. This is the North Pacific Gyre. Sounding like a monster from ancient mythology, the North Pacific Gyre is a large system of ocean currents that roar unseen among some of the most beautiful ocean in the world.

But all is not well in the North Pacific Gyre. In the heart of the beast, between Hawaii and California, lies a floating jetsam stream of man-made debris, mostly plastic detritus, a byproduct of the modern world. Estimates are that 225 million pounds of plastic is floating in the Gyre , covering an area as large as Texas, which sounds like a Texas size claim in itself.

A group of Dutch architects have a plan to make lemonade from these petrochemical-based lemons. They are proposing to collect this plastic waste and recycle it to create a habitable floating island out in the Pacific ocean. It will be called Recycled Island. Obviously a lot of thought went into this concept, much more than went into the name, although since the Netherlands is known for its marijuana bars as well as its excellent beers, we can't be entirely sure of the origin of this idea. Nonetheless, this has to be the greenest idea to come along since I ate that baloney sandwich out of the vending machine that was a week out of date.

Recycled Island will include residential housing, agricultural land, beaches, and tourism outlets, all built with recycled plastic as the building material. Think Lego-land without the vibrant primary colors. There is a rumor that either Hedi Montag or Pamela Anderson will be the official spokesperson for Recycled Island and it's (recycled) plastic world.

But while Al Gore is busy calculating the carbon offset for Recycled Island, you're asking what does this have to do with Big Gun DXing and/or contesting? Well, once Recycle Island is afloat, it should most certainly qualify as a New One for DX purposes. Regardless of sovereignty, Recycle Island will qualify based on the separation criteria alone as a new entity, although if Recycle Island is truly free floating, it might prove a little problematic. But as long as it stays within a single ITU or WW zone, that shouldn't be a big problem.

While it might be argued that a floating mat of recycled plastic isn't really a land mass, most reasonable people would recognize Recycled Island as more of an 'entity' than a group of small rocks barely above sea level at high tide that require stilts to keep from getting your tuchas wet while working a pileup with one arm around a mast to keep from falling in the water.

A New One means a land rush of DXers ready to activate an All Time New One as soon as the melted plastic solidifies enough to walk on. There are rumors, the Finns have already reserved a boat to take them there first opportunity. Once it's officially a DXCC entity, it will become a multiplier for all the DX contests as well. This will insure a steady stream of DX tourists to make sure everyone gets that Recycled Island mult. In the spirit of things, I suggest all Recycled Island QSLs be printed on recycled card stock.

If this idea works out, don't be surprised to see more proposals floated for turning plastic waste into plastic islands. The IOTA gang will go nuts for this. Just think, an island DXpedition where you don't have to clean up your trash. Leave it behind so they can extend the beach out a bit. I suggest adding a little dune over there so we can make the beach topless.

UPDATE:

It appears that Honolulu is having trouble finding a spot for all its trash. So Recycle Island has the potential for TONS of more raw material. Or perhaps there can be more than one Recycled Islands. We just have to make sure they are far enough apart to qualify as separate entities. There may be no limit to the number of DXCC 'countries' we can create.

Flannan Isles

Islands are the DXers crack cocaine. There is mystery and romance that islands inspire, and not just the tropical palm trees and sweet drinks with umbrellas in them kind either. DXers find the romance of glacier covered rocks in the Antarctic to be just as compelling as humid atolls with no hint of shade and homicidal infestations of birds and crabs. The RSGB’s Islands On The Air (IOTA) program is solely devoted to this fascination with islands, big or small, rare or common. For the DXer that finds the DXCC list too trivial a challenge, the IOTA program is sure to provide some interest. A recently announced IOTA DXpedition to the Flannan Isles of Scotland, EU-118, is a good example of the extremes and challenges that is island DXing.

First a little background. Wikipedia provides a wealth of information on the Flannan Isles, namely where are they and why are they interesting. To quote,

“The Flannan Isles are a small island group in the Outer Hebrides of Scotland, approximately 32 kilometres (20 mi) west of the Isle of Lewis. They may take their name from St Flannan, the 7th century Irish preacher and abbot. The islands have been devoid of permanent residents since the automation of the lighthouse in 1971. They are the location of an enduring mystery which occurred in December 1900, when all three lighthouse keepers vanished without trace.”

Ahh, a mystery. This is no run of the mill lump of moss covered granite sticking up out of the North Atlantic. It turns out that the island’s lighthouse was finished in 1899. It was manned by a three man crew with a fourth rotating crew member to provide relief. You can imagine in the days before ham radio and the internet, spending an extended period of time on a small rock with two other blokes is likely to get boring rather quickly. Less than a year after commissioning the lighthouse, in December 1900, the relief boat shows up one day to find nobody is home. The light is out, everything is normal in the lighthouse keepers quarters, except for an overturned kitchen chair, but no evidence of the three lighthouse keepers. Theories abounded as to the fate of the three missing lighthouse keepers. The official story concocted by an investigator with the National Lighthouse Board was as follows,

“From evidence which I was able to procure I was satisfied that the men had been on duty up till dinner time on Saturday the 15 December, that they had gone down to secure a box in which the mooring ropes, landing ropes etc. were kept, and which was secured in a crevice in the rock about 110 ft (34 m) above sea level, and that an extra large sea had rushed up the face of the rock, had gone above them, and coming down with immense force, had swept them completely away.”

Of course that sort of explanation just doesn’t make for much of a mystery. This is just the sort of story that is fodder for tales of paranormal activity or alien abductions. These are much more palatable than a mere story of getting washed out to sea by rough weather, so we’ll stick with those.

Alas, like most of the world’s lighthouses, the Flannan Isle lighthouse has been automated to prevent future alien abductions. Again, we’ll steal a quote from Wikipedia.

“On 28 September 1971, it was automated. A reinforced concrete helipad was constructed at the same time to enable maintenance visits in heavy weather. The light is produced by burning acetylene gas and has a range of 20 miles (32 kilometres). It is now monitored from the Butt of Lewis and the shore station has been converted into flats. Other than its relative isolation it would be a relatively unremarkable light, were it not for the events which took place just over a year after it was commissioned.”

We’re not sure who Lewis is, but we don’t envy him his job.

This June, the MS0INT team plan to activate the Flannan Isles, providing a rare IOTA island group to hungry DXers worldwide. The LIDS look forward to working them and wish them success. Just watch out for the aliens. And Lewis.

Demon DX Dog Storms the Web

Our good friend K1NSS over at Dashtoons.com has started a nice section featuring those Second Ops many of us have in the shack. He's been kind enough to include some pics of Cousin QRM's Demon DX Dog among the gallery. Triple D hasn't mastered the key yet, but he is handy at holding a run frequency on phone while Cousin takes a bio break. Does that make Cousin Single-Op Assisted? Hardly. If anything there should be a Single-Op Distracted category. But some claim that's what the cluster is for.

Big Gun Contesting and DXing - A Look Forward

This is the start of not just a new year, but the start of new decade. We thought this would be a good time to take a look forward to see what the future of Big Gun DXing and Contesting will look like. To get an idea of the future, we went to the most advanced Big Gun we know - Macho Cuesew, the king of Xtreme contesters. Below is Macho's essay in his own words. It does not necessarily reflect the opinions of the Lost Island DX Society, the Fi-Ni Report, or Major League Baseball.

The future Big Gun and his station will be modeled on NASCAR. Radios, antennas, towers, they're all expensive and sponsorship is the way to get to the big time, unless you're independently wealthy or a successful gambler.

In exchange for the sponsor's help, naturally I'll help advertise their products - all off the air of course. I've already ordered myself one of those jumpsuits like the NASCAR drivers wear. Across the chest and back I'll have the major sponsor's logos emblazoned, and have smaller patches on the arms and legs for minor sponsors. I'll wear the jumpsuit at every 'appearance' I make, like hamfests and club meetings. So don't be surprised if in April you see me at Dayton with my jumpsuit on, Icom across the chest, Force-12 across the back, Vibroplex on the right arm, Dunestar on the left. Of course this is all pending getting those sponsors on boards.

But the real key to promoting myself as a Big Gun and getting those sponsors is the web. Several Big Gun stations have started streaming live audio during contests from their stations. A few are even doing live video as well. This is a great way to get and keep little guns and beginners interested in big-time contesting. But all those eyeballs and ears are also potential customers for my sponsors.

I'll equip the shack with live video and audio, in HD and stereo, to broadcast every contest. It'll be just like the NASCAR in-car cameras, except full-time. That also means arranging the shack to insure that sponsor's products are prominently displayed for all to see. Of course, I'll also wear my jumpsuit to operate every contest.

Now, this is where we make the jump to the real big time. Once we have those viewers watching during the contest, we can expand beyond traditional radio equipment suppliers. Just like NASCAR went beyond car and parts manufacturers to sign up sponsors like Tide and Viagra, we can do the same thing in contesting.

Just like in the movies, the key will be product placement. So, for example, I can have a Red Bull energy drink sitting there on the operating desk that I can sip from, or a Starbucks coffee mug with my coffee in it. The key is finding products that would interest contesters and DXers, or even hams in general.

You can even slip in an occasional endorsement since there will be live audio. For example, you might casually comment, "Boy, that Alpha Big Boy amp sure busts the pileups easily", or " That Red Fulla-Bull energy drink sure wakes me up!".

There's a non-radio product that is ideal to pitch to both serious contesters as well the generally graying ham radio population, but I'm having trouble convincing the manufacturer. That product is Depends. My best idea so far to during the contest let out a big sigh and comment, "Depends lets me keep running." Shoot, that could make a YouTube video ad by itself.

We can also stick in plugs for our sponsors in our soapbox comments, not unlike the post-race interviews with the NASCAR drivers. For example, the soapbox for the next big contest might read like this: "I tell ya', the Yaesu/Ameritron/Cushcraft/Depends super station was just awesome this weekend. We were a little slow there at the start due to some local power line QRM, but once that cleared up we had some great runs to Europe in large part thanks to those heavy duty Depends which help keep us in the chair. Toward the end of the contest we got a little drowsy, but a double shot of Stahbucks espresso gave me the jolt I needed to make it to the end. "

The future Big Gun may very well be named Ricky Bobby.