Thursday, May 30, 2019

The TRUTH About Hara!!!

Photo via

News out of Dayton Tuesday revealed that the aftermath of severe storms and tornadoes on Monday caused extensive damage in the Dayton area. News reports showed that the historic Hara Arena of past Hamvention fame was extensively damaged with roof and walls torn completely off. This damage has been blamed on the storms and tornadoes, but the Fi-Ni Report has learned that is not the truth.

The damage at Hara was actually the result of a post-Hamvention K9PG extracurricular Hooters party. K9PG and assorted compatriots still hanging around the region post-Hamvention snuck into the deserted arena and threw a Hooter's catered shindig that literally 'blew the roof off' of the place.

There would have been an investigation and, no doubt, criminal charges pressed if the damage had been done under normal circumstances. But, 'PG and party were spared embarrassment when a line of storms came through shortly after the party broke up and caused significant damage in areas around Dayton. When the Hara damage was discovered, authorities assumed it had been cause by one the storms or even a tornado. With all of the winds associated with the storms, almost all evidence of the 'PG led soiree was blown away. The only incriminating piece of evidence that remained was a hideously ugly green Hawaiian shirt which got speared on a roof rafter, the significance of which eluded local authorities.

Elsewhere, some long time Hamvention attendees viewed photos of the arena and were convinced that there had actually been some improvements made to the buildings.


  1. That shirt is FABULOUSLY ugly. If anyone can get it out of the rafters for me, I'd appreciate having it back

  2. Replies
    1. In the Halls of Hara, the only Justice was beneath the many-splendored, nicotine-stained and otherwise patinated like a Petri dish with more mold than a moon made of blue cheese.

    2. The suspended ceiling that is. If those tiles could talk, they would bring 75 meter phone back like a Big Band and vaudeville to boot.

  3. Turning this circus into a kangaroo courtroom! I move for a change of venue from Hara to the nearest Greyhound regional hub snack bar, where the non-dairy coffee creamer is always free for those with a valid reboarding pass.

  4. The place was a dump. It needed to be torn down and replaced with a new facility. I now doubt Dayton does that. I was there when all the bathrooms quit. I so hope they build a new facility, but I seriously doubt it.

  5. I had the enchiladas and a pitcher of Coors light that night. My bad.